High Functioning Alcoholic
Many people deny a drinking problem because they are a high functioning alcoholic. You haven’t had a tragic rock bottom moment yet, so you can continue to tell yourself, “I’m not that bad”. But, rock bottom isn’t about tragedy or an event that happens to you.
Rock bottom is that feeling you have when your mind is screaming for help, screaming to make it stop, begging for some force to take the desire to drink from you because you can’t bear to live this way anymore.
For me it was so sad, how I felt. My thoughts were dark I hated myself and hated my life, I lied to everyone, every thought I had was full of negativity, judgment, and disdain. Disdain for everything. My body hurt, my heart hurt. That’s rock bottom.
It’s not DUIs and car crashes and getting kicked out of the house and losing everything.
Rock bottom isn’t what happens to you, it’s how you feel when you get to that place that you just can’t go on living the same way for another moment.
And it doesn’t matter what the thing is- alcohol, divorce, weight, illness- we will all have many rock bottoms in many different areas of our lives over the years.
Other researchers and specialists estimate that as much as 50 to 75% of those with AUDs are able to function at a high level in many areas of their life.*
The first piece of this conversation I want to talk about is the infamous rock bottom. I am a believer that you tend to connect these two concepts- rock bottom and high-functioning. Because it seems as though the people who have a tragic rock bottom used to be considered low-bottom or low-functioning
I had a low-bottom moment, but was very high-functioning in my life and alcoholism.
And, as I spoke about in that prior episode- we tend to connect the rock bottom moment to an event or tragedy. But, the truth is, rock bottom is a feeling, not an event.
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*Benton, S.A. (2009). Understanding the high-functioning alcoholic: Professional views and personal insights. Westport, CT: Praeger Publishers.