My whole life I was a quitter.
I’d work out for awhile then quit. I’d lose a few pounds then quit and gain it back. I’d start a new thing I wanted to do, and as soon as it was hard I’d quit.
I was so scared to fail and scared to feel embarrassed and scared what people would think of me that I wouldn’t even try.
But in a single moment I knew, the pain of changing was nowhere near the pain of staying the same.
For me, sobriety was a huge self-esteem builder because my sobriety is the only thing I had ever been fully committed to, other than drinking.
It was the first time I said I was going to do something, and I actually did it. I followed through every day, I showed up every day, I made it a priority, I treated it as the most important thing in my life, and I did it.
I had never done that before.
Self esteem feels so challenging because it isn’t a tangible construct- it’s not something you can read the manual, go do the steps, and you’re all fixed.
It’s your true thoughts about yourself, who you are as a person, how you handle your life, how honest or dishonest you are, how strong or weak you believe yourself to be, and how much you trust yourself.
Self-Esteem is an inside job.
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