You wonder why you can’t accomplish something or why it always feels like one step forward, two steps back, and it may be because you are sending yourself mixed messages.
Let me start by giving you a definition of dissonance-
Lack of agreement, inconsistency between the beliefs one holds or between one’s actions and one’s beliefs.
When you say one thing, and do another. Or you make a decision in your head, but your actions don’t support that decision.
You are sending yourself mixed messages. And we are terrible at sending others mixed messages without even realizing it.
When you say you’re okay, but all your behavior and attitude clearly show you are not okay. Mixed messages.
When you say you aren’t drinking anymore, then you go to the party or meet the drinking friends at the bar because you don’t want to be different. Well, stopping drinking is different. So, do you want to be different, or do you want to be drunk? Quitting drinking is different, so you’re going to have to be different to support your decision.
When you say you aren’t drinking anymore then go with the drinking friends to the drinking places, you are sending yourself mixed messages. This is what makes you feel like you are losing your mind. You can’t figure out why you can’t stop drinking and oftentimes it’s because your words and your actions don’t match.
This creates confusion for you because you are trying to do two opposite things, it creates confusion for your brain because it doesn’t know which thing it’s supposed to support you in- and everything is a mess. Because your messages are all over the place.
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