You don’t want to give in to excuses and drink again, you want to figure out who you are and learn how to deal with emotions instead of escape reality- which is what you’ve always done.
Learning to deal with feelings, and not numb out can be challenging. And you can do it with this one step-
Be teachable- stop shooting down suggestions, stop having a problem for every solution, stop saying “I know”- Try to put all your objections aside, and just listen to what people suggest. Recovery is not rocket science- it is not a punishment and it doesn’t have to feel like torture.
If you catch yourself saying ‘I know’, or having an objection to a suggestion, recognize this as an indication that you need to listen more and be teachable. It’s one thing to know, logically, what you ‘should’ do- this is no longer about knowing, it’s about doing.
Now, the committee will be kicking and screaming the whole time. So be prepared for those objections and obstacles. And remember the objections will feel real and totally justified.
Listen closely, be clear on what you want to accomplish, and take the right actions to get you there.