If you don’t want to drink, you will do the things necessary to NOT drink.
But, if you feel like your recovery game is slipping a little bit, you are falling off some of your rituals and you know it’s not good, but you aren’t fixing it either- then you definitely want to listen up.
First you start slipping on journaling, then you aren’t connecting with others in AA or in our tribe, then you stop doing the readings you like, then you start talking to or hanging out with some of your old drinking pals a little more, then you hear the committee getting louder, telling you… “you weren’t really that bad.” You definitely weren’t as bad as some of these people, you can have just one or two drinks, you’ll be able to control it now- man, won’t it feel good to just have one drink??? You’ve worked hard all week, you deserve to be able to unwind on Friday night!”
And you make the choice to not tell anyone that the committee is getting loud. You keep it to yourself.
This is a BIG relapse choice. Feeding your addiction. You know the committee is effing with you, but you don’t tell anyone because you don’t want to be accountable to anyone.
If you don’t create accountability for yourself and protect yourself, the choice you are making is to protect your option to drink. Period.
And the very moment you protect your option to drink, it’s just a matter of time before a drink is in your hand.